For ages I’ve had this ‘thing’ about surfing alone. Not an ‘I love it’ thing, but a total mental block.
I’ll check the forecast, see good waves and think “right, I’ll go for a surf”…and that’s as far as it goes. It’s like I’m stuck to the chair or there’s an invisible shield that prevents from leaving the house.
Typical fear reaction!
I’ve spoken to people about it and tried to work out why I feel so scared. I thought it was primarily fear of getting stuck in a rip and not trusting myself to get out of difficulty, but on lifeguarded beaches that should be far from my mind.
Then during a conversation this week, it really hit me (or maybe I just didn’t want to admit it until that point) – I’m totally self-conscious.